Hello Beautiful Creative Souls,
When I asked the Muse and Angels for inspiration they gently nudged me to connect with all of you about being your own best friend. So many of us can be downright hard on ourselves - and others too. And during these interesting times how you manage your stress makes a world of difference to our deepest well-being. . . especially when you choose to be your own best friend!
So how have you been getting through your days? Are you coping or thriving? There’s no judgment here. . . only curiosity. . . I’ve asked myself that same question many times already.
The gulf between these two words is oceans apart. ‘Coping’ has a sense of ‘managing’, ‘getting by’, and ‘surviving’. And yes, we all have coping strategies - some we recognize and others that are so sneaky that they operate below our awareness.
Yes, some are healthier than others - push-ups or poppycock? Hmm, let’s see. My old coping mechanisms would’ve wooed me over to the caramel corn side of the inner argument and pushed the sweaty arm thing away with a rationalization that sounded something like. . . . “Yes, I should do a few push-ups, BUT there’s not enough time today.” Only after munching on caramel corn for 30 minutes to self-soothe my postponed commitment to exercise would I then beat myself up for not doing push-ups.
What I’ve been noticing lately in client sessions is coping mechanisms that once worked like a charm are simply not working. People are bumping up against them and these old ways of managing emotions and stress are feeling about as stale as month ol’ bread that even the birds aren’t biting. And that can leave you feeling ‘betwixt and between’, restless, even weary in moments because the old ways no longer make the discomfort comfortable anymore. And new ways of dealing with the discomfort are still unfamiliar or even unknown.
Fortunately, your discomfort, even your pain is an invitation to thriving. Living with parts of yourself lost and left behind in bit pieces along the way is harder than hard. Reclaiming those pieces, with presence and compassion, makes it possible to put yourself back together so there’s more of you. Maybe there’s someone you still need to forgive. Maybe there’s a situation you need to make amends for. Maybe there’s a part of you that you pushed away in order to be loved, accepted, or safe.
Lifting the cover up and experiencing what’s underneath your restlessness is very different than tucking yourself in with it. A lot of humans are apprehensive about change - and that’s why so many of us turn to coping over healing. Even when we are ready to face the music and dance, the first healing song we are looking to dance to is the ol’ diddy about comfort and relief. And that’s great because it get’s us up on the dance floor and out of the trance.
And when you do, there will be days you will be dancin’ and singin’ in the rain! So it’s a good habit to carry an umbrella with you everyday - not just once in a while. Compassion is the ‘umbrella’. You open it up when it rains on your dance and you want to keep moving without sitting out the song.
Like coping, ‘healing for relief’ only works for so long. And when it starts stepping on your toes. . . and you don’t like the twisted tango with your partner/the world. . . compassion is the shelter you need during the storm. In other words, in the heat of the moment you have a choice to follow the steps you’ve always done with your ‘partner’ in pain or you can break out in free style. Venturing into this new territory is when healing becomes miraculous because you are open to a whole new experience where there is space for you and your ‘partner’/the world to have its own experience too.
So your ‘umbrella’ of compassion let’s you retreat into yourself while still making your move on the dance floor. It contains the psychic space in which you can befriend yourself. “Hey, what’s going on? What’s on your mind? Talk to me!” And when your inner best friend listens to and witnesses the upset part of you that you would have otherwise would have brushed off for a conga line, there is space to become yourself again. . . and that pushes the coping mechanisms straight to coat-check.
Thriving then, in my humble opinion, is not about the kinda’ car you drive, the quartz or granite counter-tops in your home, or your stock portfolio. As we’ve recently witnessed, all these things don’t mean as much when you don’t have you. And you came here to be you. . . unapologetic-ally, authentically you! To learn. To grow. To evolve. To even end up with a bowl of pasta on your head!
What thriving is about then is expanding into the fullest expression of yourself. It inspires you to know, love, and cherish yourself. It makes you your best friend ever! And don’t get me wrong here. . . I’m not saying you need to isolate yourself and live in a narcissistic bubble so you can float away into never-never land. . . what I am saying is it’s an inside job. Practicing ways to nurture an innermost partnership with all aspects of yourself requires daily focus, commitment, creativity, and trust. And yes relationships with others and experiences outside of you will give you plenty of opportunities to get up an’ dance. Simply said. . . the greatest riches strewn along your life’s path are the pieces of you that you hunger to get back - and that’s not poppycock!
Wishing You Infinite Creative Blessings & Inspiration!
Love and Light,
Pollyanna Blanco